Once a decision is made to end a marriage through divorce, the divorcing couple needs to resolve a number of different issues before the divorce can be finalized. There are somewhere between twenty and twenty-five different issues that must be "resolved". The actual number of issues is dependent upon the jurisdiction in which the divorce is taking place and what issues apply to the particular couple seeking the divorce. Some issues are resolved by the couple reaching an agreement. Some issues are resolved by the couple making a decision of some sort. Still other issues are resolved by one or both of the parties disclosing some piece or pieces of information. A Divorce Mediator will make the divorcing couple aware of all of the issues that must be addressed before their divorce can be finalized. I literally walk my clients through each issue, helping them along the way to design an overall agreement that is the fairest and most equitable possible when looked at from the perspective of each spouse. The Divorce Mediator itself is conducted in a meeting or a series of meetings that are called "sessions". Generally, a session is a one hour block of time in which the couple and their Divorce Mediator work through issues relevant to the couple's divorce. I am able to help some finish their entire agreement in one session. Other couples need more than one session to successfully work through all relevant issues. Once the couple has worked through and resolved all issues relevant to their particular circumstance, the Divorce Mediator writes an agreement that accurately reflects the overall agreement between them. The couple reviews the agreement for accuracy and ultimately, the agreement may be entered as an exhibit in the court proceeding that finalizes their divorce.

You are not required to have an attorney, but you are not prohibited from hiring one should you chose to do so. There are times when it is beneficial to consult with an attorney during the mediation process. While the vast majority of clients in Divorce Mediation tend not to hire attorneys or to seek opinions from attorneys during the process of mediation, there may be times when consulting with an attorney is beneficial. A competent mediator will advise you when a consultation with an attorney could be beneficial. A self proclaimed mediator with nothing more than a "certificate" should always refer divorce mediation clients to attorneys so that the clients can learn what the law requires or prohibits in their jurisdiction. (Hiring an attorney trained and experienced in the law and in representing real clients eliminates this circumstance.) A competent Divorce Mediator does not advocate or represent either spouse, but instead, works equally for both spouses. The Divorce Mediator should have experience in having represented She/he remains neutral, but should know

A Divorce Mediator acts as an impartial third party who is knowledgeable about the requirements of the law and is highly skilled in the art of negotiation. Unfortunately, many states lack licensing requirements, permitting people who have never even been to a law school or worked in a courtroom to call themselves "mediators." Couples considering divorce mediation should be very wary of people who cannot produce any law degree or license or family courtroom experience. A Divorce Mediator should be able to tell you from courtroom experience what might happen if an issue you cannot agree upon is brought to trial. Before you hire a Divorce Mediator, ask what law school he/she attended and what states they are licensed to practice law in. Also ask about family law courtroom experience - how many cases have you litigated in a Family Courtroom? would be a good question to ask. If they respond with some sort of …"Well, I did not go to law school or ever represent anybody, but I have a certificate…", say thanks, anyway, and move on. The best Divorce Mediators possess a number of important qualities. They are educated, experienced negotiators who are intuitive, non-judgmental, non-biased, creative, authoritative and well…likeable. If you dislike your mediator, you are far less likely to be open to suggestions she may have to resolve your marital issues, which of course decreases your chances for success. In addition to these attributes, it is also quite important, of course, for the divorce mediator to know the law regarding divorce in the jurisdiction in which the parties reside and will get their divorce decree. After all, divorcing spouses need to know the potential legal ramifications of being unable to reach agreement on any given issue, as well as what settlement arrangements will be legally acceptable and legally unacceptable in the jurisdiction in which their divorce will be made legal.

When you hire a qualified, competent Divorce Mediator, Divorce Mediation is almost always far less expensive than traditional divorce litigation, where each spouse hires a separate attorney and the attorneys argue the spouses' positions to a judge in a courtroom. Rather than hire two attorneys (no one attorney can represent both spouses in a divorce - even an amicable divorce) the couple hires one mediator (one divorce mediator can work with both spouses.) This alone generally cuts the cost of the divorce dramatically. If you hire an incompetent Divorce Mediator, you may end up with an unacceptable divorce agreement and have to start over, which, of course, can be quite costly! Beware of one-stop-shopping type "centers" that try to get you to hire them or their referrals. Ask for credentials beyond "certificates".

If you hire an experienced, competent Divorce Mediator, Divorce Mediation is almost always much faster than traditional litigation. It is conducted through a session or series of sessions between the divorcing couple and the Divorce Mediator. The scheduling of the sessions are largely up to the divorcing couple, so the amount of time it takes to complete a Divorce Mediation is largely in the hands of the divorcing couple. This is one of the benefits of Divorce Mediation, i.e., the couple that is divorcing controls the schedule - not the lawyers and courts.

Generally, no. I have often had client couples try to discuss issues germane to their divorce prior to sitting down in mediation, only to experience disastrous consequences. These clients were not aware of their options with respect to the issues they argued about. Had they been aware of the options available to them, there would have been no argument at all. While it is not a bad idea to broadly discuss some of the issues that you know you will be talking about, do not get too involved in debate if emotions begin to flare. A competent Divorce Mediator will be able to guide you through the issue to reach the best possible resolution for each spouse.

Yes, in cases where abuse has existed in the marriage, Divorce Mediation is generally not appropriate and the abused spouse is better served with separate legal counsel. If this situation applies to you, and you would like an evaluation as to whether mediation might work in your case, feel free to contact us for a free assessment.

A business owned by one spouse may or may not be considered a marital asset. Regardless, the issue of the value of the business and what happens with the business must be had, even if the ultimate resolution is that only one spouse will have any continuing interest in the business. A competent, experienced Divorce Mediator will be knowledgeable about the issue of business ownership and be capable of guiding the parties through this often complex issue. My personal feeling about this is that the best Divorce Mediators for couples who own business interests are Divorce Mediators who understand the legalities of business ownership and, better still, own their own businesses. The more intimate familiarity a Divorce Mediator has with relevant divorce issues, the more she/he is able to understand and help the divorcing couple. You do not want a Divorce Mediator who has to learn about this issue in order to help you!

Susan Deveney has been a Divorce Mediator for more than 15 years. More than 98% of all Divorce Mediations are completed successfully, meaning that the parties reach complete agreement on all divorce issues and leave mediation with a detailed, signed divorce agreement.

Before we begin any Divorce Mediation, we have an initial consultation with both spouses, while both parties are in the room, about the way Divorce Mediation works and answer any questions the spouses may have about the process - before, during and after mediation is concluded. There is no charge for this consultation.

Never. It is that simple.

Yes. There is no longer a necessity that a person have legal "grounds" to get divorced. This is sometimes called "no fault divorce" or divorce based upon "irreconcilable differences".